Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

In the Bible, God gives us a commandment not to judge. Throughout my life, He has presented me with many opportunities to learn this commandment the hard way. Just remember, you don't always know what is going on behind closed doors.

Or behind the outer shell of someone's body...

Our Own Worst Critic

I learned long ago not to judge based on appearance. Or, at least I thought I had learned it. As a young girl, I would go to church and see everyone dressed in their Sunday best, clean and well mannered (at least as well mannered as kids can manage for a couple hours under the constant scrutiny of parents and teachers). As I grew older and had children of my own, I started to compare myself to all of the moms I saw at church. They seemed so put together. I assumed that they were as organized and well coiffed at home during the week and that their homes must be, as well. I thought I was the only one who was struggling just to get out of bed in the morning due to depression (stay tuned for another blog post about that).

Then I attended a Relief Society class (that is the Mormon Women's Organization). The teacher had us move our seats from the usual rows into a big circle with all of the chairs up against the walls and facing in toward each other. Then she had each of us in turn tell what we thought our best attribute or feature was, something we were most proud about ourselves. After we were done, she talked about how we probably felt very inadequate because we had just listened to a room full of women talk about all the great things each of them had shared about themselves. She pointed out that we do a great disservice to ourselves because we judge ourselves by the one best attribute of everyone we know. We expect ourselves to be ALL of those best things instead of realizing that each of those women have plenty of other things that they aren't good at. Just like us.



That was a life changing moment for me. One of those "lightbulb" moments we often hear about. I have never forgotten it. And when I start to be particularly hard on myself, I just remember that moment. From then on, I started looking at my fellow sisters in the world and realizing that we don't know how each of those women are during the rest of the week. Probably just as disheveled and disorganized as me. Probably fighting a battle we have no idea about. So we shouldn't judge someone by how primped and powdered they look on Sunday and assume they are perfect. 

Nor should we judge someone by their appearance and assume that they don't care how they look.




Painful Lessons

I learned a valuable lesson about this last year. I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life. Unfortunately, often when we struggle with something, we mistakenly believe we own the market on wisdom on that particular subject. We project on to others based on our own experiences.

WE NEED TO STOP DOING THAT!!

Here is what I learned last year: 

I broke my ribs. One on each side of my body in my lower back. I wish I had an exciting story of how it happened. 

I don't. 

Let's just say that when you hear "people" tell you to lift with your legs and not your back, that is what they are talking about.

I was laid up for months and months and I just wasn't healing. Eventually the doctor discovered a Vitamin D deficiency, got me on megadoses and I finally started healing. I was laid up in bed and extremely sedentary. Since I was unable to exercise and get the much needed endorphin rush, I turned to food (especially chocolate) for the brain chemical buzz. The combination of lack of movement and too much food added up to a significant weight gain. When I was home in bed, it didn't bother me. But if I had to go out in public for some reason, I felt every pound. 

And. Every. Eye. On. Me. 

Invisible Injuries

I thought about the fact that I had an unseen, invisible injury that had made it impossible to exercise. And without exercise, I tend to not eat healthily. It got me thinking about all the overweight people I had ever judged in my life. Even when I was overweight myself I would still look at other people and assume that they had a similar problem as me, such as lack of motivation or food addiction. What I never understood until I was in the situation myself, was that you have no idea what people are dealing with that make them the way they are.


You don't know... 

If people are chronically ill. 
If they have an injury you can't see. 
If they are depressed or mentally ill.
If they have a super slow metabolism. 
If they struggle with some kind of addiction. 
If they are on medication that makes them gain weight. 
If they are super skinny and their metabolism is super high and they can't gain weight.

You just don't know. So don't judge.

I learned a very valuable lesson about not judging. Until you've walked in another person's shoes, you have no right to play judge and jury. Only God can judge because only God truly knows our trials and weaknesses. 

And our hearts.


Laura

Just. Be. You.

If you've had a chance to look back on any of my previous posts, you will have noticed that a couple years ago I was starting a business as a Fitness Coach with Beachbody. If you're not sure what that is, think 21 Day Fix and Shakeology. Or maybe you are more familiar with P90X and Insanity. 

Anyway...

That career path didn't last long (story of my life... more about that in another post). I really did like the company and the products and I absolutely loved the idea of helping people change their lives. I loved the fact that Beachbody didn't require you to already be fit in order to start coaching people, either. 
But, what they did require was being a product of the products.

AND MY BODY JUST COULDN'T HACK IT!!!

Unfortunately, I just was unable to do the fitness programs that I was trying to be a "walking advertisement" for. I drank the Shakeology (still do! I LOVE the stuff!!). But my body couldn't handle the high intensity workouts. I ended up with tendinitis in my shoulder and various pulled muscles. I tried to take things more slowly and even tried acupuncture for my shoulder. But eventually, I just had to face the fact that it just wasn't going to work for me.

I finally found something called Cold Laser Therapy for my shoulder and after being laid up with broken ribs for about half a year (watch for more details in upcoming posts) and packing on an extra 50 lbs., I finally went back to Weight Watchers. It's never failed me. I have always been able to lose weight doing their program. It just works for me. I have lost 25 lbs. so far and it's continuing to go well. I like how easy it is and that there is no calorie counting. It's all done with points and you can eat anything you want as long as you count the points. No guilt! It's really just learning to budget your calories and watch your portions. Fruits and vegetables are completely free, so not only does it encourage me to eat more of them, I absolutely LOVE not having to track any points for them! 

Nutrition is the key to weight loss. You just have to be mindful of what you eat if you want to lose the weight. For me, personally, to be successful at losing weight, I really need the flexibility of Weight Watchers. I don't do well with anything super restrictive where you have to give up any particular food. I can't stick with it for long and I end up sabotaging myself.

As important as the food part is, exercise is necessary for building muscle and toning up the flab. My exercise of choice is my elliptical. When my shoulder is bothering me (which it still does occasionally), I just do the lower body and skip the arms. As I continue to improve my fitness, I'm hoping to get back to some other types of exercise that I've done in the past. I used to run 5k's, do yoga and kickboxing, as well as hiking. 

Back before my lengthy broken rib fiasco, my husband and I were consistently hiking every weekend. Portland, Oregon has a vast array of hiking trails, complete with beautiful views of rivers and waterfalls.We had a goal to hike to the top of Mt. St. Helens a couple years back, which we still have yet to complete. But, the important thing is we're working on it. We just recently got back to our (semi) weekly forays into the wilderness. It feels good to be back out on the trails. And it's great couple bonding time.


By the way... I DO have a point I'm trying to make with all of this!

And the point is... JUST DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!! As the title of this post so aptly puts it: 

Not everything is going to work for every body. Aside from the fact that all of our bodies are different and won't respond to the same type of diet or exercise, we all have very different interests, abilities, and opinions. Good thing there are so many different weight loss programs, books, dvds, exercises, and equipment, as well as a plethora of information on the internet.

Don't worry about what worked for your sister. For your friend. For your neighbor. Don't believe everything you read or see on TV. Don't even worry about what I said in this blog post about what works for me. Do your own thing. 

DO YOU!!!!

Only you can do you. So do it the best you can. Try some things out and then stick to what works for you. Whether you want to lose weight, improve your fitness, climb a mountain, or just learn a new skill. You can apply it to anything in life. You are a unique individual, so find out what it is that makes you tick and go for it! 

And don't be afraid to try new things. How will you know whether it's your thing or not unless you try?



Happy exploring!

Laura

The Neverending Story

Remember this movie?

Unfortunately I can't hear the title without the theme song from the movie getting stuck in my head. But it is an appropriate title for my blog post today. If you've read any of my previous posts, you'll start to understand that my life has been a neverending roller coaster ride. Ups and downs with my weight. Ups and downs with my fitness. Ups and downs with my health (both mental and physical). Ups and downs with my life in general.

You'll also notice, if you look between this post and the previous one, that I haven't blogged for almost exactly two years. And that is almost exclusively due to said roller coaster ride. I will be elaborating on the details in future posts, but for now I will just give you a brief synopsis of what my life has entailed over the last two years:

• Returning to college as an adult to pursue a writing career
• Tendinitis in my shoulder
• My teenager having surgery to remove a tumor from her chest
• Supporting two children serving missions for our church
• Lower back injury
• Broken ribs
• Gaining weight from being laid up with broken ribs
• High blood pressure from weight gain from being laid up with broken ribs
• Working on losing the weight after finally recovering from broken ribs
• A drug addicted teenager in and out of rehab and arrested for shoplifting
• Missionary #1 returning home and promptly moving out of state
• Both teens being pulled out of public school
• Discovering and embracing Kundalini Yoga & Meditation (which has saved my sanity!) 

I probably left something out, but you get the gist. I decided I really NEED to blog again. Partly for the cathartic benefit of venting (and my husband needs a break from listening to me!). Partly because I have actually learned and grown from my trials and have found the silver lining and want to impart my wisdom to anyone who is willing to listen. 

But mostly because writing is like breathing for me. 

And I haven't been doing it nearly enough. 

And for a writer, that is like death. 

Slow. Painful. Death.

So, here I go. Again. I hope you'll join me for the ride. Wait. You're not afraid of a few little ups and downs. 

Are you??